Download Gay Men Choosing Parenthood by Gerald Mallon PDF

By Gerald Mallon

Homosexual parenting is a subject on which nearly each person has an opinion yet nearly no one has any evidence. right here eventually is a ebook in accordance with a radical evaluate of the literature, in addition to interviews with a pioneering team of fellows who within the Nineteen Eighties selected to turn into fathers outdoor the limits of a heterosexual union—through foster care, adoption, and different kinship relationships.

This ebook unearths how very usual and attainable homosexual parenthood might be. What elements effect this choice? How do the studies of homosexual dads evaluate to these of straight males? How successfully do specialist providers akin to help teams serve homosexual fathers and potential homosexual fathers? What components of the social weather are helpful—and hurtful? homosexual males picking Parenthood demanding situations loads of incorrect information, displaying how homosexual fathers from assorted backgrounds tailored, perceived, and developed their techniques and their households.

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One dad described the beginning of his journey toward fatherhood this way: My sister has always been emotionally fragile. Marisol was single and emotionally ill equipped to care for her child. In September of 1988, when she gave birth to Marcellino, it became clear to the family, almost immediately, that she would either need a lot of help or that someone had to step up to the plate and get involved quickly to parent her child. We saw that she had problems caring for him in the most Mallon_Ch1 10/9/03 34 11:50 AM Page 34 The Journey Toward Parenting basic ways.

The gay men in this study are a unique group of male caregivers. They stand out even from other groups of gay men. S. society would readily identify as fathers. As one dad said: In many ways I am more than just a dad. I’m a man, but I am kind of like a mom too! You have to be able to play baseball, but you have to be able to be tender and to cuddle and to be gentle. That’s not something that most men, even heterosexual men who are dads, are socialized to do. But we have to be both dad and sometimes mom.

The adoption world became more enlightened and more open to gay men. At least in New York, gay men started to pursue permanency in creating their families, and for the most part moved away from temporary foster parenting and focused on adoption. I only know of one gay man who wanted to adopt a child and has not been successful after several years of trying, and Mallon_Ch1 10/9/03 28 11:50 AM Page 28 The Journey Toward Parenting this is in all the years we have been running Center Kids. ) But I also tell men that there will be moments of challenge—hostile social workers, or a long waiting period to adopt.

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