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By Derrida Jacques

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Although Klein (1975) began to move in an interpersonal direction with her theory of reparation, I would propose changing that direction back into the intrapsychic realm, for I believe that deep human and existential anguish of regret is a self-contained experience, prior to any communication to another. It is an internal emotional experience, felt DEVELOPMENTAL TRANSFORMATION OF AGGRESSION WITHIN MOURNING 23 in the stomach and guts, as well as in the heart, as I myself have experienced it, and often leads to deep body crying and sobbing.

All frustrations from mother, from one’s own body, and from the world would be experienced by the infant as caused by mother. Such pain-inducing experience is split off and experienced as the persecutory attacks of a bad mother. This “bad” mother must be defended against by an alliance with the good mother, who, in fantasy, is perfect or ideal (with the protosymbolic sensation preceding the cognitive symbolisation of fantasy). In such a state, where the other is perceived as all good or all bad, the reality of the other, the self, and the world can never be accurately perceived.

This grief is about object relations. It speaks of selfconnection, through connection with the love for one’s internal world primal and libidinal secondary objects. Grief is based on love, and mourning is the overall process that culminates in this grief. But mourning also is a process that encompasses the affectively alive internal object relations, which are stepping-stones to the love within grief. Part of this affectively alive object-related experience is the 8 THE ANATOMY OF REGRET vitality of conscious aggression.

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